My son was taking his driver’s written exam yesterday, and as I walked with my wife while waiting for him to finish this test, I realized that my kids are both grown and I’m getting older each day. As I reflect on what I really want to do with my life, I realized that I just want to have an impact on this world based on what God wants us to do.
When I was in college, I studied economics with the hope that one day I will go to a poor country and fix its economy, but I ended up settling for a job at a non-profit and did basic local economic research for over 10 years. I wanted to put that knowledge to use so I got a job at a local government’s economic development department. I was starting to have a small impact but was laid off (OK, more like softly fired…) because the boss’s boss misinterpreted something I wrote and thought I was criticizing him. I joined whom I thought was a friend in a marketing business but was discarded when I finished something he really needed. I then got a job at a real estate developer which I still have to this day. I also worked on a few start-ups during this time. But I was not achieving what I really wanted at these jobs.
God opened a door for me to serve at an English-speaking church and I did that the best I can for a few years, but was falsely accused by someone I brought in to help and the supervising pastor seems to believe the accuser so I quit. It was the saddest thing that ever happened to me and I wondered what this the purpose of this experience, and thus far I have not been given a satisfactory answer. I found a small Chinese-speaking church that fully embraced me so I started serving there by preaching once a month. There I was ordained as a minister but I refused to take over the church because I don’t think I have the right personality and nor was I ready.
During these past few years when I served at the two churches, I finished several sermons that I thought really teach us about the meaning of our Christian lives and how God wants us to live. You can find them in the sermons I post on this website, starting with the Parable of the Ten Minas, Parable of the Bags of Gold / Talents, and the Parable of the Shrewd Manager, followed by the seven parables of the Kingdom of God. Perhaps the greatest impact I can achieve would come from spreading the knowledge I gathered from studying these and other parables of Jesus. So I wrote a small book about the first three and started on the second edition to include the seven parables but I simply don’t have time to finish. I can barely survive nowadays with all the work and responsibilities I have. I just don’t have the time to do this.
Here’s my prayer request: I need more time. I am involved with a start-up and I hope it will succeed soon and bring me a stable residual income so I can focus on finishing that book and exploring more teachings in the Bible that’d impact many more people. I believe Jesus hid many hidden truths in His teachings and He will reveal them to those who really want to find them. Then wouldn’t books that explain these truth be a tool for Him to teach those who seek without having them spend countless hours as I did?
I believe everything that happened to me — being born in Taiwan (instead of China), coming to the U.S., attending a great college, getting various jobs, meeting certain people, and getting hurt — all happened because God is preparing me to do something for Him that’d be special. Perhaps it is a book that tells others about everything I learned from my years of experiences and preparing sermons. Maybe it’s something else also. I don’t know yet. I just know that I think a book may be my best chance of having a real impact and I really want to finish it, but I just need more time…
If God gets me more time by allowing me to have a stable residual income from somewhere, then I need another prayer from my friends: don’t let me be lured away from God by the money and a more comfortable life. My friends, keep me accountable and tell me in my face if I’m not following God and doing work for Him. If there’s a thing that can prove our friendship, that timely rebuke would be the best proof.